Why do I Need a Life Team?
Let’s face it: every person in our lives plays a role, either to spur us forward or to hold us back. There are the people who champion us on in our dreams, those who hold us accountable, those who help us see different sides of the same coin & there are those who criticize us, push their own agenda on us, and cause us to stumble.
Which kind of people do you have more of in your life?
This time of year, I like to take inventory of the year before. Things like:
How was my work/life balance?
Did I reach the goals I wanted to? Were my goals even realistic?
How was my spiritual life?
Am I healthy, mentally & physically?
Were my finances in order?
Did I turn to God more than I turned to myself?
Were my relationships healthy?
Did I have the support I needed?
By taking inventory of the year that has passed, I can look forward to the year ahead with clear eyes and a clear heart. Over the years, specifically over the past few years, I have realized how important it is to reflect specifically on the relationships I have in my life.
Community is SO valuable, & often, we don’t realize how valuable something is until it’s gone.
I’ve moved many times in my adult life, but this latest move to Albuquerque, NM has definitely been the hardest but also the best. Looking back on this year, I know that is because of one thing in particular: community. I started off this year a hermit: working from home, doing small group at home, working out at home, STAYING at home. None of those things have changed, but now my husband calls me a “socialite” because I am out all the time getting coffee or lunch with the people I have intentionally built relationships with over the year. This year taught me how to build a “Life Team”.
My husband has always been very passionate about building a “Life Team” that supports him & spurs him on in his calling and his dreams but I never truly understood what that meant until this year. I have always been pretty good at building friendships - it helps that I laugh more than the average person so everyone thinks I like them immediately (: Yet this year brought different kinds of trials and challenges that I’ve never experienced before, so I learned how important it is to not just have friends, but also have a “Life Team”.
I would define a “Life Team” as a group of people that build you up, challenge you for more, walk through life with you side-by-side, and share the same values as you. My personal life team looks like a few friends around my age & life stage, a mentor (or two), as well as a couple individuals that I am able to invest in from where I currently am in life.
My year was pretty rough: we had two miscarriages, my business didn’t grow how I hoped it would, our finances were pretty shaky, we had plenty of personal disappointments, and so much more. BUT through those things, God worked. He showed me how much I NEEDED support from a community OUTSIDE of my marriage, he showed me what things were important to him, and he helped me build a foundation that will support me for years to come.
If I’ve learned anything this year, it would be that I NEED to rely on my Life Team. I NEED to open up to those who can give me guidance, those who can sit with me while I cry, and learn from it so that I can be that for someone else down the road. Our husbands & parents & best friends can only do so much alone, they can’t be it all & we shouldn’t expect them to be. As I said at the beginning, every person in our life plays a different role for us & there’s a reason for that. Build a team that fills in the gaps where another can’t. Build a team that’s full of different personalities & life experiences. Build a life team that shares your values. Build a team that brings you life & points you to Jesus.
During this season of reflection & preparation, take inventory of your relationships. Ask God if he wants you to invest in any relationships you haven’t yet or step away from any that are holding you back.
It has taken me a full year to start building my team & I’m not done here.
If you know you need to build a life team but don’t know where to start, here are some ideas of where to look:
PRAY - ask God to reveal to you the relationships you should invest in. Ask him to bring mentors into your life that will help you in your life’s journey.
Go to Church - find a church that you know you can build community in. There are so many churches out there with so many different personalities & styles, you’re bound to find one you fit well at.
Join a Small Group or Bible Study - this is one of the best places to find community. Most of the time these groups are built with people of similar life stages or interests or even simply location. They can be uncomfortable at first, & it might take a couple tries to find the right one, but don’t neglect the power of a small group.
Take ACTION - make an invite! & don’t give up on the first try. “If you want a friend, be a friend.” This has been a hard one for me to learn, but vital in this season. Adult friendships are different, they’re hard & sometimes confusing, yet when we remember that we are all busy human beings with different schedules & priorities it somehow makes friendships easier.
Maybe your first step looks like inviting someone to your church’s Christmas production this year (or going to a church’s Christmas production that you were invited to).
& if you need any more reason to invest in building a Life Team in this coming year, remember: even God has a Life Team, made up of himself, the Holy Spirit, and Jesus.