Going From Unrealistic to Realistic Relationship Expectations

Many times, people have unrealistic expectations for a kingdom relationship. These expectations can lead to disappointment. Maybe you just began dating someone heavily involved in the ministry. What does it look like to be in a successful Christian relationship (realistic expectations) with a man in the ministry?

Expectations

Sundays, be prepared not to see your partner anytime during the daylight because he will be working every service. Off the clock is no such thing. A man in the ministry has phone calls off the clock that he must take because people’s lives and souls are on the line. People have expectations of him. Weeknights are not always free. There is the element of mentoring people and pouring into others that often happens after hours.

Growth

You must also be willing to grow. If you can imagine you and your partner getting married, then you must be willing to constantly grow with them as well. This is another expectation. You must push one another to grow. God designed us to walk side by side, not to be dragged behind by the other. This will look different in every relationship. The Holy Spirit will grow you, but you must let Him do so. He will spend time alone reading his bible and other books to help him be more effective in the ministry. Will you give him that time? Are you spending time edifying yourself?

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While God has given you that relationship and your partner makes you happy, your true source of joy must come from the Lord. Your relationship with the Lord should not be dependent on your partner’s relationship with Him.

Prayer

Having a Christian relationship bears a spiritual weight. Spiritual warfare is very real. The enemy is always sending attacks against Christians. The level of attacks increase as you are making more and more of an impact in the world. You must be consistently praying over your relationship. The enemy wants to cause division to stop you from potentially getting married and becoming stronger together. Are you willing to be fighting the spiritual battle to lift up your Kingdom man and your relationship constantly?

Setting Realistic Expectations is Totally Worth it.

If you have realistic expectations, you will not be disappointed. These are realistic expectations to have: God must be the center of your relationship, you must be willing to grow, and be willing to fight spiritually. I have been with my boyfriend, who is a Pastor at our church, for a year and a half now, and I would not trade it for the world!

“Seek first His kingdom and his righteousness, and all of these things will be given to you as well.” - Matthew 6:33 (NIV)

Every week and every season looks differently in the ministry. You may have more or less time together depending on the season or the week, but God will bless the time you do spend together. Seeking God and serving him together is the most fulfilling!You may not be a wife yet, but you one day will be. Your role of supporting, encouraging, and praying for him is so very important, and you do make a difference!