It was a cold, dark, wintery morning as my alarm dragged me into consciousness at 6am. I got up and went downstairs, doing my best to avoid the squeaky floorboards as I went, so as not to awaken the rest of the household. I pulled on the pair of socks and trainers waiting for me next to the sofa, had a glass of water, and then went out to the garage to the treadmill.

Half an hour later, I was in the shower feeling virtuous and full of energy. Was this the start of a new morning routine? Only time would tell.

Fast-forward to bedtime and I started to think about whether I’d go on the treadmill the following morning. It would be so much nicer to stay in bed, I thought, or even get up and enjoy a peaceful, early morning cuppa. Anything other than the garage - and then I had a word with myself, got my socks and trainers and put them next to the sofa and went to bed, remembering to set my alarm for 6am.

Several days later and the stats on my watch tell me I’m sleeping better but I don’t feel any different. And yet still I find myself up before dawn, pulling on my socks and trainers and heading out to the garage. We’ve had the treadmill in the garage since the early days of Covid when our youngest son was missing the gym but I’d never set foot on it before that fateful October morning. What’s going on? Why would any sane person do this to herself?!?

It all comes back to a story I heard the day before my first morning on the treadmill. One of my friends had a health scare and was told by their doctor how powerful even just fifteen minutes daily on the treadmill could be.

I’ve not had a health scare but God nudged me, said it wouldn’t be a bad idea to move a bit more, especially since walks with my now elderly spaniel are a little less brisk than they used to be. The story I told myself is that I’m someone who gets energized by a brisk mile on the treadmill each morning and the rest, as they say, is history.

Have you ever taken a moment to explore your stories? Those things you tell yourself about who you are and how you move through the world?

We know stories are powerful and as Christians, we’ll often point to Jesus as our example of the ultimate storyteller. Some of us love to preach with stories, recognising that in so doing, we lower people’s defenses and make it easier for them to receive whatever it is Holy Spirit has invited us to share.

But the most powerful stories are the ones that play inside our amazing minds. Too often these stories are written in early childhood, often subconsciously, and then simply repeated as fact over time. Too often we’re not even aware of the stories and we instead simply declare that “it’s just who I am”.

But what if who you are isn’t fixed? Yes, God has a plan and a purpose for your life, He knows who you are and Whose you are, but how you show up in the world is not fait accompli. You don’t need to be ruled by the stories of your past and just because you’ve thought something for a very long time doesn’t automatically make it true.

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5

Who does God say you are? What’s written in His story book about you? If you’re finding yourself facing resistance as you seek to make a change in your life, if you’re not happy with how things are going right now, consider this your invitation to explore your stories with Holy Spirit.

If the story you’ve been living by doesn’t match up to God’s story for you, it’s time to take those stories captive and make them obedient to Jesus.

How? We start by recognizing the lie, the disempowering story, and that’s definitely half the battle. Shining the light of awareness into those dark crevices is important but we can’t stop there. You need to pull that thing up at the root, remove it and then replace it with something far better. Remembering that you’re not meant to be doing this on your own.

It’s time to engage with God in this process. How? By taking two questions to Holy Spirit, your advocate, teacher, counselor and guide:

  1. God, what lies or disempowering stories have I been believing about myself?

  2. What’s your truth? Who do you say I am?

Ask, expecting an answer, remembering that not only did God hand-craft you with a plan and a purpose but He knows you intimately and loves you unreservedly. He wants to engage with you in this process of story. It is His joy and delight to do so!

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The Long Slow Walk