You Do You (Part 1)
We live in a society and time where if you are not in a relationship, you are looked at like there is something wrong with you. Too often, if we are single we take that title as an insult rather than an incentive to truly discover who we are as a person and delve into the things we truly love. We crave relationships because we want to go to a nice restaurant, we want to go see that new movie, we want to travel and see the world. For some reason, we have taken this being single status and twisted the way we live because of the negative connotation that tends to come with it. If you're single, praise God because you're not currently wasting your time in the wrong relationship!
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Sometimes we need to stop and ask ourselves, why do we really want to be in a relationship? Do you crave the companionship of having someone to share your adventures with? If so, you're doing it wrong. Companionship is simply friendship, you can enjoy spending time with friends just as much as you can enjoy time in a relationship. The best relationship is based on friendship, so that in time, will come. Do you desire to be in a relationship because you want to be loved? Trust me when I say, you can be in a relationship and feel unloved, unfulfilled, unnoticed, and completely alone. A relationship will not bring you fulfillment, only God can do that. So many things we are searching for in a relationship are the very things God wants to develop and design in us while we are single.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." – Proverbs 3:5-6
If you enter into a relationship completely broken, unconfident, and lost, the relationship will only magnify those issues, not diminish them. That's not to say once you do get in a relationship you'll have all the answers or know the best response every time. We're human, so you will constantly be growing and learning, all that to say, a relationship is not the place to "find yourself".
You do you!
While you are single, you need to take a step back and ask yourself what attracts you to others? Their confidence, independence, strength, courage, boldness? Now ask yourself, do you see those qualities in yourself? Are you even attracted to yourself? If you don't even intrigue yourself, why would you intrigue anyone else? A lack of confidence is so apparent, you can see it in the way someone stands, walks, and talks.Don't be afraid to develop who you are now, don't be afraid to have fun with yourself, don't be afraid to gain the confidence in yourself that you are so attracted to in others.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." – Philippians 4:6-7
Go out and see that new movie by yourself, go to your favorite restaurant alone, go travel to the places your heart desires to go. Don't let a title placed on you by the world dictate who you are or the choices you will make in life. When people ask me how I know my fiancé is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, the answer is pretty simple.