Marriage Oneness – Friends and Family

Friends and family can be a great asset to strengthening any marriage, but if those relationships aren’t healthy they can weaken a marriage quickly.  God made all of us relational creatures to varying degrees, but how do you create a safe boundary around your relationships outside of your marriage?  Tim and Lea Lundy lay out some helpful hints to help us create those healthy boundaries.

• Relationships Around Any Marriage Are of Great Importance
  • They can make vital contributions that bless and enhance a marriage. (Proverbs 17:17)
  • They can also create problems that undermine a marriage (Matthew 19:6)
  • The key is in how we handle those important relationships as a couple.
    • Our spouse must always be our top priority.
    • Other relationships must be handled with wisdom and boundaries.
      • Boundaries give you freedom.
      • Develop those “property boundaries” and you will be able to focus more on your own property and not everyone else’s.

• In-laws and Your Marriage
  • The joy of extended family. (Genesis 2:24)
  • The importance of “leave and cleave.”
  • What to do when you have intrusive or controlling in-laws:
    • Agree as a couple on the boundaries that need to be drawn. These boundaries help create proper expectations.
      • Time
      • Money
      • Words
      • Home
      • Holidays
    • These boundaries need to be specific.
    • These boundaries need clear consequences if violated.
      • Boundaries without consequences is just a suggestion.
    • The husband should take the lead in communicating these boundaries and enforcing them.

• Children and Your Marriage
  • Children can bless a marriage in countless ways: (Psalm 127:3)
    • They can bring unbelievable joy. (3 John 4)
  • Children can also stress a marriage.
    • Certain seasons of child rearing are more stressful than others.
    • Beware of the big “W”;
      • No Children = High Marriage Satisfaction
      • Preschoolers = Low Marriage Satisfaction
      • Grade-schoolers = Moderate Marriage Satisfaction
      • Teenagers = Low Marriage Satisfaction
      • Empty Nest = High Marriage Satisfaction
    • Children grow up best in the soil of Marriage Oneness.
      • Be diligent as husband and wife to nurture and enrich your marriage relationship through all your child-rearing years.
        • Date weekly
        • Get time along together
      • A healthy marriage is the surest path to having healthy children.

• Friends and Your Marriage
  • Good friends can strengthen your Marriage Oneness.
    • Good friends offer wisdom. (Proverbs 13:20)
    • Good friends provide encouragement. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
    • Good friends motivate you to love and good deeds. (Hebrews 10:24)
  • Choose your friends wisely. (1 Corinthians 15:33)

• The Priority of Your Marriage
  • Your marriage relationship should always be your first concern.
  • With healthy boundaries and wise choices, family and friends can greatly benefit your Marriage Oneness.

"If you want your marriage to thrive, make sure no other relationship competes with it. – Robert Lewis”

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